Hurricane Ike Strikes Ohio

I live in Ohio for many reasons... seasons, snow, green grass, awesome people, small towns, rich history... and (so I thought) few natural disasters. Sure, there are periodic floodings, and a rare blizzard. But nothing like California's fires and earthquakes, or Oklahoma's "Tornado Alley," or the South's hurricanes. Usually.

Sunday evening, Hurricane Ike roared across Ohio, trekking rapidly to Canada. That was Sunday, about 6 p.m. when I lost power (in the middle of doing laundry). Well, as of this morning, I was one of the 1.4 million Ohioans still without power. Reportedly, it won't be until Friday or Saturday until I get power.

What a crazy experience. Here's my routine now. Stay out in the "powered" world until 8 or 9pm. Go home, and put on my LED head-band flash light, find clothes for the next day, pack my gym bag, brush my teeth utilizing a bottle of water (since I have a well, no power means no water), and going to bed, using my phone as an alarm clock. Then, I get up in the dark, get some old clothes on, and go to the YMCA where I shower, then head to work. I have to charge my phone in the car. There is so much not getting done!

I have always had sympathy for Iraqis who only had 2 hours of power a day in the heat of the summer. Now, I have empathy. I can't wash my dishes or clothes, much less my body and teeth! And while being male allows me to water the flowers off the deck when I need to, I have been in more public bathrooms than I can to consider.

Thankfully, the weather has been great! Highs in the upper 60s and low 70s, sunny, dry, and evenings in the upper 40s and low 50s. Nice sleeping weather with all the windows open!

A Forced (but needed) Respite

It has been way too long in writing. I have needed to write, not just to update a little-read blog, or even to update the few friends that read this blog. No, I have needed to write as a process of digestion of what has occurred in the last several months.

As I start writing this, I am in the Atlanta airport, waiting for a connecting flight from Akron to Phoenix. It has been nearly one year since I have been back in Phoenix. That was a relaxing week spent with my family in the White Mountains of Arizona, and I think fondly on that week. Due to a variety of circumstances which I hope to elucidate in the next several posts, I have not had the vacation time nor the money to travel much in the last year, much less get back to Phoenix. I would not be making this trip now to spend over a week in Phoenix if it were not for the fact that my dad is having his hip replaced on Wednesday, September 3, and he paid for me to come out to be with the family during this anticipated rough week.

So, this was an unexpected respite, but one that is greatly needed. There is not a whole lot planned for much of the week, and I hope to spend much of my needed down time blogging about the last year. Topics I hope to touch on, if ever so briefly, include:

1. My best friend’s theo-philosophical journey
2. A huge job change and transition
3. A fun “business” trip to Denver with two great friends
4. My relationship with my wonderful girlfriend, Carey
5. The attempt at selling my house and future plans
6. Provoking thoughts about regarding theology provoked by a history book
7. My philosophical wranglings with atheism
8. The state of my spiritual journey and exciting trajectories
9. Thoughts about Obama and Palin in the current presidential races

This is an ambitious list, and I’m not likely to get to all of these, but by listing them, it provides a goal. Hopefully, this exercise will provide some clarity on some of these issues, for me if not anyone else.

From the mouth of the great sage... Dolly Parton

I confess. If I remember right, my first record (a 45 at that!) was a Dolly Parton-Kenny Rogers single. I know that is wrong on so many levels (what are records? I'm only 32!... Dolly and Kenny? Really?) But, I have had a strange, mostly repressed affinity for them ever since.

I continue my confession. I have been watching American Idol. Thanks to a DVR at my friend's house and some group pressure, I have been joining several from our midweek devotional time in watching American Idol after the study.

There, I've said it. I feel a little better already. At least that lays the ground work for what follows. Last night, American Idol did a "Dolly Parton" theme, where all the song selections had to be one of her 3,000+ compositions. One guy (thankfully, I don't know most of their names yet!) who I really don't like sang a song that really struck me. It was just an authentic confession of persistence. And when I had a meeting and got a "bad prognistication" vibe about my current situation at work, I thought more about that song, as a sort of anthem in my head... I just got to keep "travelin' thru."

"Travelin' Thru" by Dolly Parton

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit
Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home
Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' on

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain
Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain
Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you
As I'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as I'm travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on
But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home
Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

That obvious, eh?

I finally remembered that I have been wanting to renew my passport for a year now, and I had some time available today. I knew that you could do it at post offices, and there was a sign in the Massillon one that said that the Winesburg office does them too. I figured the Winesburg office would be quicker and easier, plus it is a beautiful (and equidistant to Massillon) drive. Since the entire county population where Winesburg is (Holmes County) is about the same as the City of Massillon, I knew it would be less busy.

I drove into town, but somehow missed the post office. So I pulled into a bank and started to go in. An older woman was coming out.

"Pardon me, are you from around here?" I asked.

"Yes I am."

"May I ask where the post office is?"

She sized me up, and then said, "You aren't getting a passport, are you?"

My surprise must have been plastered all over my face as I responded, "Uh, um, yes, I am."

"I thought so. WKSU and all. I'm heading there right now. Follow me."

It took me a moment to remember that I had my WKSU jacket on. Did I stick out that much? Does she associate public radio listeners as world travelers? Did my corduroy pants and button-up shirt underneath a green WKSU jacket betray a comopolitan air? Was it that obvious?

Wireless Internet + Spring = Awesome Evening

Today has been a great day. Work went smooth. Good patient flow, good relationships, a great mix of routine and challenge. But what really stole the show was the weather.

Spring has burst upon the scene in Northeast Ohio. Oh, she may be fickle, and leave us again for a week or two, but she is certainly not coy this year. She has donned her green apparel, begun the symphony for her grand entrance, and has flirted with us with her warm breath on our necks.

I got to come home tonight (the first restful night since returning from my trip to Orlando) and decided to go for a run. I ran past a pond that was nearly deafening from the frogs and crickets. Then I came home and got into the hot tub, and relaxed and drank water. When the jets turned off, I just floated, staring at the grass that seeminly turned green in a two day period. I listened, and heard countless birds chirping and rustling, as the wind gently blew through the pine trees in front of my house. I could hear children playing half a mile away, and in the distance, a steady banging of work, a sure sign of spring. Now, as I write, I have watched dusk envelope the day, as I browsed the internet and got caught up on some things. Though dark, the birds still chirp; the crickets continue their endless symphony.

God is so good, and can be so rapid in the changes He brings about. This evening was a much needed sermon. I need to be patient, and trust that God will bring change. He always does.

Orlando in Review: Last Things First

On Sunday, March 18, 2007, Jen and I were done with our conference at 10 am, so we decided to head to the beach. We decided to head towards Clearwater (the Gulf Coast, near Tampa/St. Petersburg). While online previously, we decided upon Fort DeSoto County Park, which was rated as the #1 Beach in America a couple of years ago. I now know why.

It was sunny, and only about 68-70 degrees. The Park is located on an island at the mouth of Tampa Bay. I have not been to too many beaches, but this was impressive. Miles and miles of beach... and the white sand was like powder, at least in the area we were at. There were tons of shells, many of which I had never seen before, and the colors were much more varied than at other beaches I have been to.

We got there and ate Subway for lunch on the beach (the seagulls and other birds were quite enthralled with us). Then we walked to beach to a pier, and spent some time there. We decided to sun bathe... without sunscreen (oops!). By 4:30 pm, I was quite burned, and headed to the shade. Later, Jen joined me and we went to dinner (at IHOP, no less), and then made it just in time to see this.





And so it came about, that I saw my first sunset on the gulf. It was amazing. The orb seemed to melt into the water, seemingly just miles out in the ocean. It was incredible. We had read from Ephesians 5 earlier, and following this incredible display of beauty, sang parts of "I Will Call Upon The Lord." When I see something like this, what else can I do but call out to the Lord, proclaiming that he lives!

Update from Orlando, and excitement about Kierkegaard

My time here in Orlando is nearing its end. (As a side note, while it is 26 degrees and snowy in northeast Ohio, it will be 70 degrees and sunny when I go to Clearwater Beach tomorrow to see my first sunset over the Gulf!) I had intended to download some pictures and blog about my experiences, but despite paying $10 for 24 hours of Internet, I am simply too tired to do so.

I finished my most recent read, "Philosophy and Theology" by John D. Caputo, and I hope to share some things from that book, as well as "Who's Afraid of Postmodernism?" But both have piqued my interest in Soren Kierkegaard, a 19th Century Danish philosopher. He and Nietzsche represent two early starting points for postmodern thought (the former the religious, the later the secularist), at least according to Caputo. In any case, I bought a book today to start reading on the way home. It is "The Cambridge Companion to Kierkegaard." I have not started it, but the introduction page certainly makes me excited to read more:

Few thinkers have been so consistently misunderstood as Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855). Amongst the many myths that have attached themselves to his work is the belief that Kierkegaard was an irrationalist who denied the value of clear and honest thinking. The truth is that Kierkegaard did deny the power of reason to uncover universal and objective truth in matters of value, but in the current philosophical climate there is nothing irrational about that.

The contributors to this companion probe the full depth of Kierkegaard's thought, revealing its distinctive subtlety. The topics covered include Kierkegaard's views on art and religion, ethics and psychology, theology and politics, and knowledge and virtue. Much attention is devoted to the pervasive influence of Kierkegaard on twentieth-century philosophy and theology.

I know, I know, far too exciting for most people to read... But I think that the above summary of Kierkegaard's thrust is a great starting point for describing Postmodernism, or at least Postmodern thinking.

Continued (though lessened) Raw Frustration

For background to this post, please see the previous post.

Issue #3: The importance, roles, and dangers of investing authority.

As we consider the shape and direction of our local Body of Christ, the issue of authority is front and center. It never seemed to be an issue when there were only 8 or so of us. Now that we regularly have 16-20 people, it is much more of an issue. It became obvious to me when a friend and I were discussing how to define ourselves before we are defined from the outside. Right now, the core has a sense of what we are about and what we value. We share much of that in common. But if several people were to come into the community who are not familiar with those values and sense of direction, no one would have the authority (as it stands right now) to share with these new community members what our values are. Several could go up to them and share individually, but no one has explicit authority to represent the group.

For example, and to revisit the previous post, say a few people decide that they value a "Purpose Driven Church" model, and they start pushing for everyone to go along with this idea (speaking from experience, Jared and I tried this with the group of about 6 others, and it failed miserably... because it was not in line with our values nor our strengths). I could go up to one of them and say, "You know, I don't think this idea will work for this group. I don't think it is in line with our values, and I'm certainly not comfortable with it." They may or may not take it to heart. But that has a very different impact than someone who has authority vested in them from the group coming up to them and saying in love, "We appreciate the idea, but this isn't building on our group's strengths. It is not in line with our values. These are our values... "

In other words, "authority" or "leadership" has a very important role that I never really appreciated: Protection. Explicitly recognized leaders have vested authority to protect the values, goals, and intentions of the community.

But there is still the little problem of having someone speak for everyone. It is really only a modern problem, where everyone feels (rightly?) entitled to their voice and opinion. What if the leader says or does something that you don't agree with? Humility and submission are part of the equation, no doubt (from a Biblical standpoint), as 1 Peter and Hebrews 13 make clear. But what do those passages mean in today's context?

I can imagine several responses to this whole vein of thinking, largely based on personality and background. To those who grew up in authoritarian churches, where individuals had little or no real voice (and therefore power), two reactions are likely. Those who feel safe and function well in those environments (think SJs for you Meyers-Briggs aficionados) will likely wonder what all the hubbub is about. "Of course you need leaders!" For those who have been hurt in such churches, or who are more independent of mind and spirit (SPs and NTs), there is a tendency to be more egalitarian by nature, and would be resistant to repeating "mistakes" of the past. Power trips and egos seem to go with most "leaders" and also division. To those who grew up in very loose, egalitarian churches, this may seem like backsliding and promotion of division, since strong leadership tends to bring clarity of differences, not similarities. But, there are likely some from that background who would like to stand for something, and know that the community will stand with them. Leadership can provide that unifying force of focus.

Let me make this clear, lest any missed this in my posts: I'm very aware of the New Testament passages on authority. I grew up in a background that not only values authority, but Bible study and memorization (one of the many things I'm very grateful for). So I'm familiar with all the traditional (Church of Christ) arguments and logic for understanding authority. I have not forgotten these things. Notice, however, that I did not say that I know what the Bible says about authority and leadership. I am no longer confident in my understanding of what the Bible says to us today. I can confidently state what it said to the people of the 1st century, but even then I fear presumptuousness if I say that I know what it meant to the people of the 1st century.

All that to say that these issues are not as clear cut and black and white as they were for me in the past. Some will lament, others rejoice. I can do neither; those actions require grounds for making value judgments. I'm in the thick of it, with no place to look down from and make such judgments.

But Christ is faithful, and I know He loves me, and that this journey will grow my dependence on Him for clarification and perspective. Amen.

A (Rather Long) Moment of Raw Frustration

I was visiting with a couple from our house church tonight, and had some very deep, answerless, challenging discussions. I just have to take a moment and share some raw thoughts about one of the topics. There are no values placed on these statements… just pure frustration and emotion.

Authority. Legitimacy. Ideas and concepts that Jared has been wrestling with on his blog. Tonight, some of the reasons for the difficulty these concepts pose to me came to light. However, having light shine on a problem does not always guarantee quick resolution of the problem.

Issue #1: Systems always have unintended consequences, and there is no escaping a system. For example, we were talking about two different approaches to “operating” a faith community, for lack of a better word. One is a more egalitarian, fluid, organic, and, my default, democratic way of functioning (let’s call it the Democratic Model). People share their views, and the community discusses things and decides on activities more democratically. This allows diverse spiritual and theological views to remain (since it is more activities than beliefs that are concretely decided in a (default) democratic way). Another system in some way codifies a group’s values and actions, defining itself early on and allowing others to accept and co-exist or decline and not engage a particular group (let’s call it the Constitutional Model).

Why this issue? Because as a group, we have tremendously strong relationships and connections with strong spiritual focus. This has led to the happy yet troubling problem of growth. Issues weren’t really issues when you have only six or seven adults with the same background. It becomes more challenging with 15 adults with very different backgrounds.

So practically, what does this issue mean on the ground, for us in our home church? Everyone is a part of our church for some reason; everyone sees something they value in the group. It may be the freedom to grow and stretch spiritually, or the intimacy and love of the relationships, or it may be the simple fulfillment of friendship needs, or it may be the non-institutional, non-building oriented nature of the church. But as the group grows, the diversity of values (what is important to people) shift. So, if we take a more Democratic Model, as more voices add to the decision making process, the values that drew the initial core may change from being the majority to the minority. Then you are faced with the dilemma of staying where you no longer fit in or where your values are no longer guiding the actions of the group, or leaving the bonds of love and desires of unity to find a group more like-minded (birds of a feather, flock together). If a Constitutional Model is used, there would be an explicit shaping of the group, which might keep some away, and cause accusations of trying to be different, unique, and/or divisive, or the possibility of “rule by the minority” based on this codification of self-concept at a static point in time.

Ahhhhhh! Can you feel the frustration (confusion?) as your head spins?

So, being more concrete, let’s give a real possible question. Let’s assume for now that we have 15 adults, 9 of which don’t want to ever have a building, 2 of which would prefer a building, and 4 who don’t really care either way. We decide tomorrow that we are going to follow a Democratic Model. Let’s say that 8 more people join our group, and that they all happen to be open to having a building, and in fact, would like to work towards that. Now, the majority value of the group is to work towards a building (10), while 9 people think a building would destroy the very nature of the group. In a Democratic Model, the majority would win, and the new minority must decide if they should restart a group that has no plans to pursue a building, or stay where their values are no longer promoted as directly. If they did leave, then ultimately they would be assuming a default Constitutional Model by valuing this belief more than the voice of the majority, and in forming another group with that common belief, have an unofficial (non-explicit) constitution. But, if the group adopted a form of common framework that stated this group values being free from the burdens and financial drain of buildings and values the authenticity that meeting in homes allows, then as it grew, people would know that this is what this particular group believes, and if that doesn’t fit with the new person’s values, then they wouldn’t join. This model comes across judgmental, authoritarian, and divisive, at least to many. It might slow and prevent growth, but it may also slow or prevent later division.

What is better? What is right? What has more weight of tradition? What has more Biblical weight? My brain is frying!

Issue #2: Deciding a system is immensely more difficult than criticizing a system. It has always been easier to find fault in a system that I did not create nor approve of. I feel the weight of this decision, and it makes me want to run away, or abdicate. However, no decision is in fact a vote for the default, whatever that may be where you are. For us, that would be more of a Democratic Model. And at this point, I have as much say in a decision as anyone else.

Oh there is more. Much more. But this is way too long as it is. A glimpse into the future:

Issue #3: The importance, role, and dangers of investing authority.

An "About Me" Update

Although most people who see this blog are my close friends, I thought it would be a good time to just give a little “About Me” update. In any case, it will be interesting to look back at it in 5 years and see where I was and what I liked.

Birth Place: Born and raised in Arizona.

College: Grand Canyon University, Phoenix, Arizona

Med School: A.T. Still University of Health Sciences (ATSU): The Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine, in Kirksville, Missouri

Out-of-Country Travel:
1. Victoria, BC for a day trip.
2. Corozal, Belize, in Central America for four weeks, learning about missionary work.
3. Aasenfjord and Oslo, Norway, for seven weeks in high school with a program called Youth for Understanding.

Some places I’ve spent time at:
1. Chattanooga/northern Georgia
2. NYC
3. Philadelphia, PA
4. Washington, DC
4. Boston/northern Massachusetts
5. Vermont/New Hampshire/southern Maine
6. Miami Beach, FL
7. New Orleans, LA
8. St. Louis, Kansas City, and Columbia, Missouri
9. Chicago, IL
10. Nashville, TN
11. Albuquerque and Las Cruces, NM
12. Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, TX
13. Las Vegas, NV
14. Colorado Springs, CO
15. San Diego, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, CA
16. Detroit and Grand Rapids, MI
17. Port Angeles/Puget Sound/Seattle, WA
18. Lewisburg, WV
19. Minneapolis, MN
20. Arizona
21. Ohio.

Personality Type: (Myers-Briggs) ENTP

Career: Out Patient Only Family Practice

Siblings: One sister, plus a brother-in-law and a nephew

Favorite Games:
1. Settlers of Catan (Cities and Knights)
2. Taboo/Catch Phrase
3. Trivial Pursuit
4. Magic, the Gathering Card Game

Favorite TV shows:
1. Battlestar Galactica (new series)
2. Lost
3. My Name is Earl
4. The Office
5. Scrubs (way too close to home… very hilarious)

Favorite Sports:
1. Ultimate Frisbee
2. Racquetball
3. Tennis

Church:
1. Home Church. We meet in either my home or a friend's home, depending on the weather.
2. I will visit Wide Eyed Life, a new community within First Christian Church of Canton.

Spiritual Background: I grew up in the non-instrumental Churches of Christ.

Favorite cities I’ve been to:
1. Seattle, WA (love it!)
2. San Fransisco (too bad there are so many earthquakes!)
3. Boston (awesome history!)
4. Austin (cool, laid back city)

Least favorite cities I’ve been to:
1. New Orleans (the REAL Sin City)
2. NYC (lots to do, but little greenery)
3. Albuquerque (not much goin’ on there)

Most beautiful places I’ve been:
1. Puget Sound area of Washington (perfect combo of cool weather, mountains, and water!)
2. Sedona, Arizona (Red Rock Country)
3. The Grand Canyon (need I say more?)
4. Norway (very similar to Washington)
5. Holmes County, Ohio (Amish Country… beautiful rolling hills, woods, and farms)

Some more random pictures

So, I decided it is time to share some pictures.


This was from June 2005, out in the back yard of my old house on 20th Street in Canton. I loved the Rhododendrons so much, I bought 3 of them and had them planted at my new house.







This picture is with my closest friends from Ohio. This was the original group of our house church. We were at a wedding (Scott and Amanda's) in Nashville in Oct 2005. From Right to left: Rachel T. (she's 17 there), me, Penny T. (Rachel and Rebecca's mom), Rebecca T. (kneeling), Tina and Jared C. (yup, Jared tried the bald thing for a short while), and Dana H.







This pic was from the "guy's retreat" in Kentucky, I think in the Spring of 2005. That's Josh, Jared, Matthew, and Jon. Somehow, Josh and Jon didn't get the message on the sign! And I have no idea what sort of "bling" Matthew's sportin'.









This is my sister, Heidi, and my brother-in-law, Joe Zukas, with my nephew Brandon. This was in September 2004. Wow, has it been that long???