Uncomfortable Situations and Extending Compassion

Last night, some friends and I gathered for food, singing, games, and a devotional. The topic was compassion. In short, it came out that there is a fine line between pity and compassion. The definition of compassion given by Dictionary.com is: "Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it." What separates compassion from pity, then, is the desire to relieve the situation, coupled with a sharing in that suffering. We might have pity on a homeless man, meaning we acknowledge that he is in a bad situation and that we would not want to be there. We may even give him a few bucks (to make us feel good? to assuage our conscience?). But to have compassion, you have to share in his suffering, get into his shoes, so to speak. Seeing things from his perspective motivates a desire to change things, to relieve the suffering. Now, I don't think that that means that you have to become homeless to have compassion on a homeless man. But what, then, does that entail? How then can we show true compassion?

Today, my best friends and I went with a group from First Christian Church of Canton to a "soup kitchen" based at Refuge of Hope. It is open every Friday and Saturday for lunch, and every Wednesday night for dinner. There were about 50 men and women there today. We went and served them food, and also cleaned up afterwards. The main thing that the Refuge wanted was for us to talk with people. They wanted us to just sit and eat with them, talk with them, lift them up. Now that was an uncomfortable situation for me. At least at first. I didn't know what to say. All the "normal" conversation starters were filled with landmines. For example, you can't say, "Hi, I'm Tony. Do you live around here? What do you do?" You get the picture. Although I managed to say a few things, it was pretty awkward. For all of us at my table. Then the minister asked for prayer requests. Three we given at my table. Then the minister asked for those Christian visiting today to go to these people and pray with them. When asking for volunteers, I looked around, and no one moved towards my table, so I volunteered to pray for two people. We ended up having six people at my end of the table, and I led a prayer. In the process I got to know three names. And pray for specific things. It was a totally new experience for me, but very uplifting. Anyway, after the prayer and worship time, when I sat down to eat with them, I got a little bit more information about some of the prayer requests.

Then everyone left. I did not have the usual "warm and fuzzy" feeling I often get when doing something good for others. I realize now why. When you really boil it down, our brief time at the kitchen didn't make a huge difference. Really. If we weren't there to serve, they would have gotten in line themselves. If we hadn't cleaned up, the staff would have. Normally, that would be enough to make me feel good, like I did something. But for me, it became just a token act. In the past, that would have been enough for me to say that I "serve the poor." But I can't say that. I met three people, two of which I know a little about their stories, and what they are going through. I did not help them directly today. But now I can start to see things from their perspective. I'm beginning to truly have compassion. And as such, I don't just want to serve them a tray of food, or pray with them. I want to help Mike get the job he's interviewing for tomorrow. I want to help him get back on his feet. But I didn't. I prayed, which relies on the greatest Power there is. But I didn't actually give anything of myself, other than two hours of time, time that would have likely been wasted anyway; it was not sacrificial time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am starting to have compassion, by putting myself in uncomfortable situations, and actually wanting to make a difference. Token acts or alms, if not coupled with true compassion, will be in vain for me. I don't know yet how to actually show compassion for those three people I met today. But I feel that I have truly begun on a journey of true kingdom living.